A high school friend has started a 30 Day Challenge (sounds like a diet huh?). It's 30 days of blog ideas. We shall see how I do. Here's hoping I update every day; if not every day, at least every few days.
Day 1: discuss your current relationship.
(Check out my albums on Facebook for pictures of us & our wedding - "Becoming Mr & Mrs Huston")
Husband: Ralph Lanier Huston
Age: 38 years old
The Beginnings: we met at Smoke Rise Baptist Church in Stone Mountain, Georgia, in the mid-1990's. Our parents live a couple miles from each other. We became fast friends & worked together at church. In the summer of 1997, we became closer. He was 24; I was 19. Ralph was heading to basic training for the USAF & didn't want to "complicate" his life by being in a relationship during Basic (ha). Alas, he confessed that he liked me while on a late night walk, July 4, 1997. I said I liked him too, so we started dating (and complicating our lives!). That was a wonderful summer we had together before he left. I entered my sophomore year at Georgia College; Ralph went to Texas. I attended his graduation from Basic Training in October, we wrote gobs of letters to each other & he came home over Christmas. I dated someone else after that, but we still talked from time to time. I always knew when he would call - I could just feel it. Even when we weren't dating, we were always friends. I knew we would always be friends. As luck would have it, he was stationed at Robins Air Force Base in Warner Robins, 1 hour from my college. He was a Boom Operator on the KC-135 tankers doing in-flight refueling. He loved that job & met some life-long friends. Ralph went TDY for the Kosovo conflict in 1999. Our letters & emails continued. We began dating again around the Fall of 1999. Ralph took lots of trips to England, etc... I graduated from college in 2001, got a teaching job & moved to Macon. That was a period of change & uncertainty for me. I broke up with Ralph, although now I'm not sure why. He was contemplating separating from the USAF. It wasn't a happy time for either of us. Then 9/11/01 hit. Ralph was the first person I called from work. In the weeks & months after 9/11, I realized what was important to me. Ralph always loved me and was always the best friend and always wanted me to be happy. We had a strong foundation. By 2004, we had both relocated to Gwinnett. Ralph separated from the USAF & got an Aviation degree; I got a teaching job in Lawrenceville. We started talking marriage...
Proposal: Saturday, November 6, 2004. Credit to Ralph is due. I thought I would know when he was going to propose. Ha - I didn't have a clue! We had tickets to the Atlanta Symphony. Before the concert, we ate at The Spaghetti Factory, one of my favorite places. We sat in the trolley car. After dinner, Ralph took my hands. Ralph: "Guess what your Mom did?" Me: "What?" Ralph: "She gave me a hug." Me: "Really?" Ralph: "Guess what she said?" Me: "What?" Ralph: "She said, "Welcome to the family." Joan Marie Blanton, will you marry me?" Me: "Yes!" My engagement ring was custom designed by Ralph & a family friend made it. I love it!
Wedding Day/Anniversary: Sunday, April 3, 2005. Our wedding was on a Sunday & the weather was beautiful. My parents & sister got married on Sundays; I always wanted to. Our wedding was in the chapel at Smoke Rise Baptist; again, where I always wanted my wedding. We had the most beautiful music played: a harpist, trumpeter, organist, pianist, soloist, bagpiper. I was insistent that we not have ferns. I hate ferns. My flowers were white hydrangeas & white roses. My dress was "spun gold," satin, trumpet/mermaid style with spaghetti straps. I still remember the feeling in my chest as I walked down the aisle towards Ralph. And I remember his smile. It was wonderful. Our wedding night was at The Intercontinental in Buckhead (AMAZING place) and we honeymooned at The Grove Park Inn (in the fancy Club Suites) in Asheville NC. I wish we could do that again.
Married Life: Ralph is self-reliant, decisive, caring, a provider & protector, courageous, self-confident, smart, magnanimous, logical, handsome, funny & silly at his best. I am accepting, self-possessed, receptive, grounded, patient, determined, kind, encouraging, caring, thoughtful, sweet & corny at my best. I won't list our weaknesses, but we have plenty. Through the last 14 years of dating & marriage, we continue to learn how to compliment each other, respect each other & maintain healthy levels of communication. We truly care for each other. We love each other. We haven't always liked each other though. We are both thankful for our beginnings - we started with a strong friendship. I read somewhere that 1+1=3 in a relationship: there is each individual and there is The Relationship, which is a "thing" in and of itself to be cared for & pruned. That is pretty deep. My point is that Ralph & I remind ourselves that our union as husband and wife is a very important thing and if all else falls away in our lives, we will still have each other and the relationship that we've built.
I love you, Falphie.
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