Fire & Water

The Enneagram is a personality system.  Everyone emerges from childhood with one of the nine types dominating their personality, with inborn temperament and other prenatal factors being the main determinants of our type.  We are born with a dominant type. 

RALPH:  Type Eight - The Challenger 

JOANIE:  Type Nine - The Peacemaker 

Here's how we work together:  

Eights bring leadership qualities—a take charge, "we can do it" mentality that others usually look up to and rely on. They are full of self-confidence and vitality and feel like a force of nature that cannot be denied. Nines generally admire these qualities in Eights and often gravitate to them. Nines typically tend to live vicariously through the positive qualities of the other, and Eights like to have people around who are impressed and stimulated by the Eight's leadership, vitality, and brashness. Nines genuinely admire the Eight's ability to make things happen and to fearlessly take on challenges.

On the other hand, Nines bring a sense of calm and stability that Eights find soothing and necessary for their well-being. They also bring to Eights a feeling of quiet pride in the Eight's bravado and more assertive qualities, encouraging Eights to continue in their take charge style. Even healthy Eights spend a lot of time overcoming obstacles and adversity; they are fighters trying to survive and make their mark on the world. Nines are like a safe harbor, a respite, a person with whom Eights can let down their guard and relax. 

They tend therefore to teach each other what the other lacks: Eights bring Nines self-confidence and self-assertion, while Nines teach Eights which battles are worth fighting for and how not to push so hard. 

The Eight/Nine couple is thus like fire and water — an active force and a receptive force — that has an archetypal feeling about it. Their roles are well-defined with each paying a parenting role toward the others - one is usually the daddy while the other is the mommy — although this does not go along gender lines as might be expected. Both have powerful drives and strong willpower; both like comfort and simplicity; both want to create a safe retreat from the world. When these forces and their talents are harnessed together after the same goals, this pair can be dynamic and powerful but also comfortable and receptive at the same time.

So true.